Underestimate. Under. Esteem. (your Mate.)
Do I do this? I hope to everything that is sacred that I don’t, but I know that, in a way, I do. Lately I’ve been under a depressive cloud (a mildish one, but still), and I’ve noticed that I walk around thinking and acting as if I’m alone, when in fact there is another human being right there. I’ve had to consciously remind myself of this, looking at my husband and saying in my mind, “Hello, other human.” I reach out and touch his skin and for a moment I’m brought back into time.
Do I actually esteem him any less because of my mood? No; he remains the best example of humanity I have ever met. But it would be nice if I could remember to treat him that way.
Why do I do this isolation thing, anyway? Does the depression isolate me, or do I isolate myself because of the depression? Also, why am I even depressed? Blahhhblahblahblah. I guess I should never underestimate my own ability to sabotage myself. Sorry to be a downer. :P